Sunday, November 2, 2008

Loud, fat and horny

A belated celebration for my sister's birthday was marred by a couple of trucks parked next to us at Vaby's restaurant. Yes they were loud, yes they were stuffing their faces in and yes they were hitting on the male waiters. I recall one rather porky one remark "what an awesome girl's night out". Try porky pig's mud party. Now usually i can ignore rude people. Tuning out could be a special gift of mine. But they went way too far.

Dad, Mum, Ishani (my sister) and me were practically sweating. My guess the air con wasn't working. Or maybe those vans were sucking up all the air. Not sure. But it was stuffy. Add to that the food was taking a long time (apparently they're training a chef). Dad was starting to get annoyed and impatient. Dangerous signs. So mum and I tried to get a conversation started. But every ten seconds "oh my god he didnt" or "what a sl*t" kept interrupting us. My sister asked poor old mum "what a sl*t is". Mum side stepped it. One mentioned she had "slept with 2 guys at once" and "that no guy has ever resisted her sexual appeal". Sure. She went on to say that "i'll pick up a guy here easily. Maybe 2" Careful lady if that stomach doesn't stop ya from fitting through the door the ego will.

Dad ordered wine. He gets tipsy very easily so we had to make sure he didn't drink too much. It didn't help when dad asked for red wine as it caused a commotion among those vans. Apparently one of them has a fantasy for being up against a wall dripping in red wine. Dad was angry. Rightly so. His precious seven year old daughter didn't deserve to hear such vulgar things. Mum quietly suggested me to ask for another table. Mum was trying to calm dad down. I got out of my chair. And it happened.

Sure i don't mind the odd stare. The odd "damn i'd tap that" from a chick. Not that i get it much anyway. But to slap my ass, rub it and ask me "wanna yank your doodle in my car" in front of my parents went way too far. But it didn't end there. She wondered if black guys really have bigger... well you get my picture. That was the last straw. Thankfully my parents didn't decide to react. That would've been a nightmare. After a few tense minutes the waiters moved us to another seating. And almost instantaneously the evening became pleasant. The air con was on, no loud mouths, no sexuallly aggressive behaviour, etc. Dad came across some of his work mates. We had a cake for my sister (mud cake too, how original) and sang the whole birthday song. You get the picture. It became a normal outing.

When we finally decided to leave (and with a much lighter wallet) we saw the trucks motoring away. They could barely walk and much to our delight porky pig and her gang had no men attatched to their arms. Seems to me some lucky men missed out.

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